And though she be but little, she is fierce.

The title is a Shakespeare quote and if we have a baby girl, there’s 100% chance that quote will be somewhere in her room. Because if I have a daughter? One thing I’m determined to do is raise her to be fierce.

And I don’t mean warrior ninja kicking bad guys’ asses fierce. (Though if that’s what she wants, good for her!) I want her to grow up believing in herself. Standing up for herself.
Knowing that she’s deeply loved, and not afraid to take chances.
Of course the same goes if we have a boy. I just… can’t use the Shakespeare quote. Maybe something like this from The Giving Tree:
and
she loved
a
little boy
very, very much
-even more
than
she loved
herself.
The thing is, I can’t quite see us having a boy. I mean, God, if we do? I’d be through the roof. Sex of the baby doesn’t matter to me at all. Healthy is all I care about. And then, happy. It’s just that I’m pretty girlie these days. And (in a totally non-creepy way) Nelson has an easy going manner that  reminds me a bit of my dad, so I know he’d be great with a daughter. But he’d be great with a boy, too. ❤
It seems the baby craze bug has finally bitten me. Which is weird because I didn’t think I’d ever feel ready for a baby. And I’m not completely ready now, either. We’ve got this move coming up and I still want to get in better shape before we start trying. I mean, I’ve gained more than 30 pounds since college. (Excuse me while I go slam my head against the wall.) Not that I care about getting back in college shape, but I’d certainly like to slim down/get healthier before we start trying. 1) It’s probably better for the baby. And 2) I’ve always heard it’s easier to lose the baby weight if you were in shape beforehand.
We’re going to the outer banks in August for two weeks. I’m thinking we’ll start trying after that. (So I can still drink and stuff at the beach!) But, even with all those reasons to wait, there’s a part of me that wants to start trying RIGHT NOW. Because I know it could take a long time to get pregnant. And… Like I said, I’ve been bitten by the baby bug. (Alliteration FTW!) Everything’s suddenly screaming in me to get started. I can’t wait to feel another human being form in my belly. How freaking crazy is that, when you think about it?
We make human beings.
Whoa.
When I was younger, I figured I’d have my first kid by age 25. Now? Thank God I wasn’t ready then. I look back at the past five years and think of everything I’ve been able to do that there’s no way I could have, had I been pregnant or with a kid. Especially the past three years. I didn’t even get married until I was 27, and in these last three years we’ve done so many things. On the fun side: Trips. Me quitting my job to become a writer. Buying this new house. And on the downside? Fights. Marital downturns that lasted sometimes months at a time. Personal issues (drinking and depression). Things we desperately needed to get out of our system/deal with before bringing a child into our family.
I know there will be fights and downtimes and trips and big changes in the future too, when we have a family. But the things we’ve been through already? They’ve somehow led us to the happiest place I’ve ever been in a relationship. And they all would have been different if we’d already had a child.
Holy crap. This entry is super long and I haven’t even gotten to the point of why I started. Which is (and ha, it’s so shallow compared to the rest) this:
I can’t stop picking out nursery colors.
I’m a little nervous that I’m majorly jinxing myself here, considering the pea is SO not in the pod yet. But that’s just me. Once I start getting excited for something, I can’t stop thinking about it. Planning for things. Hell, I’ve had tentative names picked out for over a year. (Kiernan  for a girl, and Connor for a boy.) Of course if I get preggers and the little pea feels like a different name, I’m totally flexible. Mostly.
For a girl, I’m really loving the thought of gray painted walls with teal and coral accents.

And birds. There will definitely be birds incorporated into the theme. Just like they’re incorporated all over my house 🙂 
If we have a boy, I’m thinking still gray paint, with navy and yellow accents. Or maybe green instead of yellow.
I don’t know. These are what I’ve decided on for now, but it’s still so much fun to come up with different ideas.
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