the way my mindset has changed since the desire to have a baby hit me. But, man, has it ever. I have babies on the brain. Babies, babies, babies, all the time!
And it is sooooo weird.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever really want to start a family. I wondered if that urge passed me by.
A lot of girls get the itch because they see everyone else doing it. (Not that there’s anything wrong with it–when you see the joy that pregnancy/having a baby brings to someone else’s life, and how could you not want it for yourself?) But… that didn’t happen for me at all. I mean, many of my friends have had babies–some more than one. Both my sisters have been trying for quite some time. I’m happy for them all–and I pray for their success! But it didn’t jumpstart that maternal urge for me.
That seems to have happened all on its own 🙂
Nelson and I have gone back and forth for a couple years, neither of us ready at the same time. One would get there, but by the time the other would catch up, the first would have changed their mind. Or… maybe not mind so much as feeling ready. But now? We’re on the same page. In our thoughts. In our hearts. In our guts.
Maybe it’s the books I’ve started reading, or the message boards I’ve joined. Maybe it’s that we bought a house with a room PERFECT for a nursery. (Well, minus the paint colors and current airplane border lining the molding along the wall, ha!) (I mean, the paint colors are fine, just not what I would choose!) (And minus the fact that it’s really our vacuum & cats’ room right now…)
|My first attempt to use a panoramic app on my iPhone…|
Maybe it’s because I’ll be 31 in a month and I’ve never wanted to be an older mom when my child is a teenager–though, sigh, I already will be.
I don’t think it’s any of those things, though. I mean, sure they add to the building excitement, but really? It’s the thought of starting a family with Nelson. The thought of growing another human being together. (Or, if we’re unsuccessful in that route, then the thrill of getting to adopt a child and giving them a good life and all the love in the world.) Having a child that is ours.
I just can’t wait–and I’m smiling while typing this sentence 🙂
I’m pretty sure I’m about to ovulate and I’m SO tempted to skip waiting until next month to start trying… But I will. We agreed on September. (Well, basically I told Nelson September and he agreed, ha.) There’s a reason for it. September works better for us. So I’ll wait. Plus, I’m sick right now. But heeeeee I can’t WAIT for mid-September!!!