Monthly Archives: December 2012

Elementary school shooting in Connecticut

Today there was a shooting in an elementary school in Connecticut. Several sources, at this moment, are reporting that 27 people died, including 18 children.

I can’t stop crying.

Usually, I don’t get as emotional over tragedies. It’s fucked up, but because they haven’t happened in my town, or to me, they seem so far away. Like, I feel awful, but in a removed sort of lalalala don’t think about it and it won’t be real sort of way.

But this? Maybe it’s because I’m about to have a child of my own. Maybe it’s because the children who are dead were so young. Maybe it’s just time to peel off that protective layer that keeps me from feeling so awful about such awful things. Whatever the reason, this, I can’t stop from feeling deep in my soul.

I’m devastated. I’m confused about how something like this could happen, that there are people out there who are sick enough to believe that the solution to their problems is to walk into an elementary school and begin shooting.

This is senseless. And so sad. And I can’t even bring myself to write anything else about it right now.


Dreamalicious December 2012

December 14th, 2012: I’ve been having such vivid dreams while preggo, I’m going to start recording them. (Even the scary zombi-fied ones, because those pop up a LOT.)

But last night, thankfully, there were no zombies.

I remembered so much when I woke up, but now I’m forgetting a lot of it, because I waited so long to write it down, sigh.

Nelson and I were at this special grocery store, like a Whole Foods–or a Trader Joe’s–on crack. And we bought frozen chicken and cake mix, but I actually baked the cake at the store, in a 9×12 Pyrex baking dish. I think I was going to use funfetti frosting on it? I vaguely remember checking out and we got home to this cabin on the cusp of a huge field. I parked kind of far away and went inside. Then we jumped forward in time just a little bit, and I realized I’d forgotten to bring the groceries in, but when I looked outside, animals had broken into the trunk of the car and were eating some of the groceries. I went outside to stop them, but suddenly Lady Gaga was having a concert in the field, and she was dancing on my car. There was a huge crowd of people there. I was upset because I couldn’t get into the trunk but someone else (maybe Christina Aguilera? I’m not sure…) figured out what was bothering me and told Gaga. When she was on a break from the concert, she seemed upset that I hadn’t told her she was inconveniencing me and told me to go ahead and grab the groceries. But I opened the trunk and the frozen chicken had thawed and the trunk was flooded with murky chicken water. Gross.

Then, the dream switched and I was with my other sister, Kelsey. She was pregnant. And her husband, Chris, was going on a ski trip. Or something. We were near water, I think.

Crap. There was so much more, like, different segments with different people, but I can’t remember.

December 16th, 2012: I dreamed I was a spy last night. And that I was in a mall, or multi-level convention center-type of thing, on the second floor, with glass fences around the huge openings in the middle of the area (like a mall) and escalators that connected the floors. I was there with a group of 12 or so other spies, we were all on the same side–but our day was broken up when a rival spy crew came in and captured me, another pregnant chick, and two of our new recruits, a brown haired girl and a football player-sized guy. They spread us out like sardines, along with other people from their own crew, on this long brown table. (Kind of like the type we used to eat lunch on in high school, except the ones in high school weren’t brown, I don’t think…)

Me and the other pregnant girl, a blonde, were on the end of the right side of the table. The brown haired recruit was about five people away from me and the male recruit was about two people away from her. Our spy crew lined up across from us on the table. But (and I’m not sure why) they couldn’t do anything to help us, other than just stand there to watch what was going to happen. The leader of the bad spy crew, another blonde lady–whom I *think* looked like Jan from The Office–said that one of us could go, and she assumed it’d be me or the girl next to me, since we were pregnant. So she gave the brown haired recruit a blue stuffed animal (maybe a teddy bear?) and told her to give it to the spy she wanted to save. And instead of giving it to either one of us, she turned away and handed it to the male recruit.

I was pissed. For some reason, I can’t remember, she leaned across the people between us to say something to me, but I grabbed her face and tried to break her neck. I wasn’t strong enough though, so the pregnant girl beside me helped–except in killing the brown haired girl, somehow the girl who was helping me’s neck got snapped too and she died right beside me on the table. I jumped off the table holding my belly, so thankful to still be alive, but was really sad for the other girl who had died.

Christmas Lights!

I love them! They don’t come up as gorgeous as they really are, but they’re super twinkly and I just love the simplicity of all white. 🙂

In the spring we’re going to redo the landscape in front of our house with bushes instead of the flowers/shrubbery that I neverrrrrr took care of, so next Christmas we’ll have light-lined bushes in front of our porch as well.