Category Archives: pregnancy

38 Weeks

Whoa, mama.

How far along? 38.1

Total weight gain: 25 pounds.
Maternity clothes? Yep. And yoga/workout pants. 
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: Because I take Zyrtec at night for allergies and it makes me drowsy, I sleep pretty well these days. Minus all the pee trips and the pain in the sides of my butt. (I have to switch the side I’m lying on pretty frequently.)  
Best moment this week: Declaring the nursery truly and finally FINISHED! (Will post a bunch of pictures later this week, but here’s a sneak preview:
Also, we had Liz and Brett over for an impromptu dinner on Saturday which was a ton of fun — and yesterday was cinco de Mayo, so we had them over again, along with my parents and B’s parents for Mexican. Also a really good time. And I know I’ll treasure those nights because Liz is due today and I’m in two weeks (maybe sooner) so it was probably our last weekend ever of just us. 
Miss anything? Still deli meat sandwiches (though I’ve been making egg salad sandwiches, chicken salad sandwiches, and cheese and tomato sandwiches a lot, which have helped). And wine. And Snickers bars. 
Movement? Still moments with LOTS of activity, but also long stretches without. (And she still LOVES Mumford and Sons, especially their song The Cave!) 

Food cravings: Nothing too major.  
Gender prediction? Girl!
Labor Signs: Heaviness in my pelvic region. Cramping in my pelvic region — and last night I think I maybe had a back contraction? Not really sure. This stuff is still confusing to pick out of a lineup! Oh, and still lots of nesting. Cleaning, reorganizing, opening every baby contraption we own and figuring out how it all works (not that I remember anymore, ha!)…  I was up at 1:30 in the morning completely cleaning out and scrubbing down the fridge last week. 
Symptoms: Heartburn (but nothing I can’t handle). Pain on the sides of my ass when I lie too long on one side while falling asleep. Weird, vivid dreams (that I forget almost immediately after waking up — though I do remember having one from the POV of an old woman and her old husband, maybe they were supposed to be Nelson and me in 40 years or so?)
Belly Button? In, but weird and super tiny. I can tell it still really wants to pop! 
Wedding rings? Off. I still wear my heirloom diamond ring because it’s usually too big for me and fits a little better now. I could wear my wedding band, but sometimes it’s a little too snug for my liking, so I just went ahead and put it away for the rest of my pregnancy.
Mood? Depends on the hour and whether or not I’ve taken my iron pill (it’s weird how much of a difference that thing makes in my mood and energy levels!) I’ve gotten really nit-picky about germs and cleaning and wanting to feel more prepared… Last week I felt like N was just going through the motions and sent him a pretty lengthy email about my feelings on the matter. Part of me feels bad, but I still stand by what I said! Things along the lines of how he seems to care a zillion times more about the condition of our yard than he does about getting ready for the baby. Seriously, he spends hours upon hours upon hours taking care of our grass and garden. BUT I realized yesterday, I actually think this is HIS way of nesting. So I’ll cut him some slack. For now, anyway. And, plus, I do love how fantastic our lawn looks 🙂 
Looking forward to: Meeting Baby K!! I feel like we’re JUST about as ready as we can be, so I’m in that hurry up and wait phase. But my hospital bags are packed, in case she decides to come early 🙂 (PLEASE COME EARLY.) 
And today is Liz’s actual due date, so I’m pretty pumped to meet her little girl, too!
Any other changes? 
The bad: Between weeks 33 and 35 I had an unexpected/unexplainable weight gain so I was forced to take the 3-hour glucose test again. (Ugh.) And this time I failed it. So, yep. Gestational Diabetes. I gots it. Blerg. I have to prick my finger for blood FOUR TIMES A DAY. It sucks and I was really depressed for about a week. I control it with diet and exercise (lottttts of walks after meals), so at least I’m not on insulin or anything. To be honest, I’m basically used to it now though, and the diet was actually an easier adjustment than I thought it’d be. And the silver lining of it all is that while my belly has gotten bigger, the rest of me has not. My legs and ankles have actually slimmed down the tiniest amount. But don’t get me wrong. GD still sucks. I can’t talk to most people about it (mostly because it’s humiliating –because if they haven’t been pregnant/through GD, they usually assume I did something to get it, like it’s my own fault — which is not the case, it’s just that some women’s bodies during pregnancy get kinda wacky with insulin production) and I’m terrified that it’s affected the baby 😦 She’s definitely measuring on the bigger side, according to my OBs — but one of them told me last week that it could have nothing to do with the GD. We have a growth sonogram scheduled later today, so we shall see then what our options for delivery are. If she’s too big, I’ll probably be induced next week — or have a scheduled C-section, which, after everything, I might actually prefer because I really don’t want her to break a shoulder on the way out if she came vaginally (which happens sometimes with bigger babies).  
The good: Nelson bought me a new car! I loved my Civic — she treated me fantastically for NINE years — but she was only a 2-door car,  and there was no way that’d work for a car seat. So we went the SUV route and I’m in love with it 🙂 We even got the car seat set up relatively easily! (Though I have an inspection scheduled for this Thursday just to be on the safe side!) 
I don’t have any closer up pictures… But even from far away she makes me smile 🙂
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36 Weeks

(I started this post but never finished it. I’m posting it anyway, so I don’t forget these things!) 

In the past few weeks…

I’m starting to notice dates EVERYWHERE. Milk expires the week I’m due. An evite for a barbecue the week before I’m due. The date for a movie opening the weekend after I’m due. It’s crazy! Time has both gone at a snail’s place and a thoroughbred racehorse pace. How are we already here??? Where dates start to coincide or overlap with when my little girl is going to meet the world??

And I’m starting to get obsessed with what baby girl is going to look like! Will she have green eyes? Red hair? Curls???

Holy heartburn, batman.

I finally went through all of our shower gifts — about a month late, ha! It was both fun and overwhelming. I also ordered a bunch of things that we didn’t receive that I think are still essential to have before the baby arrives — though I’ll probably have to spend one more day (one of these days) doing the rest.

We’re going to open all of the boxes for things I’ve had for months (strollers, carseat, baby swing, baby bath tub, etc) and practice using them.

I reorganized our kitchen to clear out an entire cabinet for baby things, and am going to clear off the counter space directly below it for more baby things.

We’ve taken a breastfeeding class, and a baby birth prep class (the express class, which was two nights in a row of three hours of information)… Next up? A baby care class (because I have NO idea how to swaddle. Or change a diaper. Or, basically, anything baby-related. And an infant CPR course. For obvious reasons.

(Post script: We missed the baby care class, whoops! But I ordered a few baby care DVDs so we can still learn a little bit about how to do those things!)

Honestly? Third Trimester Kinda Blows. And Other Stuff.

First of all, third trimester is NOT fun compared to second trimester.

Exhibit A: I’m getting HUGE. Gone are the days where I feel kinda cute with a little bump. Like so far gone I can barely remember them. But maybe that’s the preggo brain. I can barely remember anything these days.

Things that also suck? Let me count the ways… My SI joint in my left ass cheek is constantly in pain. But don’t worry. The right side throws itself into the mix sometimes, too. If I stand for too long, my lower back hates me. If I lie down for too long (including at night) the muscles around my upper spine scream at me. And whichever side of my ass I’m on begins to BURN. Seriously, pins and needles as though they’re on crack cocaine. It hurts to roll over because my stomach is so big. I still have to pee constantly. I have NO energy. If I’m on my feet for more than an hour, it takes half an hour with them up to recover. I think back to every pregnant waitress or bartender I’ve ever seen and basically bow down to them in appreciation. No clue how they do it. And it especially sucks because that urge to nest is kicking in super hard, but I can’t give the energy I want to in the zillion projects I need to get done before this little girl breaks outta me. Oh… And let’s not forget the agonizing charlie horses I keep getting. First my right calf (and it was tight for DAYS after) then my left (also tight for days). Ugh. Oh and if I’m gonna be really real? How about my lady bits? They don’t feel so hot. Honestly, they haven’t felt good for at least the last few months. It feels like … How can I say this? … It feels like there’s rubber cement up in there. Gross, I know. But there’s no non-disgusting way to describe it.

I do know that some girls have trouble getting pregnant and that I shouldn’t take anything for granted. And I don’t. Really. I’m so thrilled with what will be the outcome, that these aches and pains are worth it. My daughter is already worth it times a gazillion. But for the love. This is my pregnancy, and I’ll whine if I want to. 😉

Oh. And zombie nightmares. Though these have happened periodically all pregnancy. Last night’s was so scary though I couldn’t go back to sleep. I contemplated turning all the lights on — but then realized that zombies probably would be attracted to light. I’ve given up watching The Walking Dead. I don’t read zombie books. I steer clear of all zombie things. But still these stupid nightmares find me. (And before you mock me, I’m not scared of vampires or monsters or other made up creatures. But think about it… One CDC mess up, one virus accidentally released? ZOMBIES. They’re way more possible than the other stuff.)

In other news…

Nelson’s cousin and wife (Aaron and Carol) had us over for dinner over the weekend. They have a 16-month-old and a 4-month-old. And they made it look EASY. It gave me hope. True, we were only there for three hours, so I’m sure they have their days, too–but still. Even with two under two, Carol cooked this amazing meal: pork tenderloin with au jus, roasted brussels sprouts, spinach artichoke bread… I’ve basically been looking up awesome recipes for the past two days because I’m totally inspired to start making more grown up meals. We’ll see how long it lasts, ha. I’m starting with shrimp scampi tonight. (With roasted asparagus and sweet Hawaiian rolls.) Will post pics/recipe later if it’s successful!

I reorganized the kitchen today. Took the entire day — and there’s still some left over mess — but I’m pretty pleased with the results. I managed to keep one three-shelf cabinet completely empty for bottles and (later) sippy cups/toddler plates and utensils and stuff. (The following pics are from the very beginning of the reorg. It got waaaaay messier before it got better…)

I have my first class tomorrow night. Breast feeding. I’m actually looking forward to it. Though the fact that I’m at the point where my classes are starting freaks me OUT. Because it means the end is near. Which, of course, given my complaints at the start of this post, on the one hand makes me happy. Plus, I’m excited to meet this little girl!! But, um, on the other hand, I don’t feel prepared enough. At all.

Just under 8 weeks left to go!!

Excuse me while I go crap myself.

The Big 3-1

How far along? 31 weeks, 2 days

Total weight gain: 18 pounds (omg and 5 of them in the past two weeks, woops!) (Granted, I had two baby showers over the weekend, so that *might* have had something to do with it…) Time to pick it up a little at the gym. Gonna have to tell my trainer to start kicking my ass a little harder. (Which will be hard to do because she kills me already…)
Maternity clothes? Yep! And I am sooooooo ready for the weather to warm up so I can start rocking maxi dresses all the time.
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: Depends on the night. Last night I actually slept from 9pm to 8am! (With about 5 pee trips, of course) but that hasn’t happened in a really long time. Usually I’m waking up for the second or third time around 4 to pee and then up for a few hours after that. Sometimes I can fall back asleep, sometimes  (most times) not.   
Best moment this week: Both my and Liz’s showers! We had them back to back (hers on Saturday, mine on Sunday) at my house and they both were wonderful! Full post to come later, when I’ve collected some of the pictures other people took!
Miss anything? Still sandwiches. But mostly just because they’d be an easy thing to have for lunch every day and it’s getting harder to figure out what I want to eat.  I also miss the ability to turn over easily in bed. It’s an entire process these days nights — and it hurts. And along those lines, the ability to easily put shoes on. And socks. 
Movement? Kicks! They’re getting a little stronger. AND: it’s so fun — at night, on my back and in the dark, we’ll shine my iPhone light on my belly and after a few minutes, she’ll start kicking and hitting where the light is!! She also LOVES to dance around in there when I play Mumford and Sons or Adele. (Seriously, I’ve tried other artists, but nothing gets her moving like those two!) 
Food cravings: Nothing really stands out. I’ll have little cravings here and there, like last night I suddenly wanted swedish meatballs–but that craving passed within a few minutes.  
Gender prediction? Girl!
Labor Signs: Nothing really. Maybe some Braxton Hicks? Not even really sure about those. Also, her head is finally in a downward position, after spending most of the pregnancy breached. So I guess she’s starting to get ready, the smart little thing 🙂 
Symptoms: Not much energy. Heartburn. Pain on the sides of my ass when I lie too long on one side while falling asleep. I had one crazy painful muscle spasm in my upper left shoulder one night that stuck little daggers all the way up the side of my neck and down to my elbow. Nelson had to pound on my arm and shoulder for a long time to get it to stop. Thankfully, I already had physical therapy scheduled for the next day, so that helped. I also think I have some eczema on my upper stomach (SO dry and itchy) but I found that Aveeno has a freaking awesome lotion and body wash for it, and they’re helping a lot. Also my boobs. They’re out of control. I could probably knock myself out if I jumped too hard. You could wear my bra like a helmet. Nelson’s even tried it once (the jerk). I can’t even imagine what they’re going to look like when my milk comes in. I’m a little scared… 
Belly Button? In, but getting so small, ha! 
Wedding rings? On — though my engagement ring is a little tighter. I may just stick to my wedding band from here on out.
Mood? Pretty good, actually. Maybe it’s just that I get so tired easily, I don’t have energy for much more than laid back, ha. (Though I was FULL of energy all weekend, but that was more adrenaline-based because of the showers and getting to see so many people I love.) I am a little depressed, to be honest, about the sudden bout of weight gain. And about the ridiculous number on the scale. But I’m trying to get over it. 
Looking forward to: Excited for the glider to arrive. Should happen in the next couple of weeks, hopefully! And we still need to switch out the closet doors. Otherwise the nursery is really coming together!! I can’t wait to organize everything I received for the shower — and to do that one final shopping trip for everything we still need. (Ha, final? Who am I kidding?)
Any other changes? I failed the 1-hour glucose screening with a score of 150 so I had to take the 3-hour test (which was not the most fun thing in the world.) BUT I passed that one perfectly. So THANK GOODNESS I don’t have gestational diabetes. (Phew.) I’m still going to watch my sweet intake for the rest of pregnancy though. (After the rest of the baby shower cake is gone, of course…) And not that I’ll deprive myself, but maybe ice cream only on the weekends instead of a bowl each night. Also, I have started weekly physical therapy sessions to have the pains in the sides of my ass worked on… It’s really been helping. 

Soooooo?

So What If

I effing Hate naps. Hate, with capital H. Which is sacrilege to the spirit of pre-preggo Sara, because, dude, from college on? Naps have been one of the highlights of any day I’ve been able to fit one in. But these days? When they’re actually necessary because I’m growing a person in me and I’m uncontrollably exhausted by 1:30 every day? They suck. I wake up disoriented and with a headache and completely groggy. And it takes at least an hour to snap out of it. Two to actually feel good. Sometimes longer. Ugh. As necessary as they are (and they are — my eyes close without my permission almost every day) they are not even refreshing in the slightest.

I am having a lot of Feels over the most recent episode of Hart of Dixie.

I took the glucose test on Monday morning. It wasn’t as bad as I feel like it’s often made out to be. No, the drink wasn’t awesome, but mostly it reminded me of a mix between orange soda and orange gatorade — just with a buttload more sugar. The part that sucked was the five minutes immediately after. I was super nauseous. My palms started sweating. And I just wanted to lie down. Actually, I wanted to lie down for the entire hour I had to wait before they drew my blood, so that sucked. Especially because the chairs in the lab were NOT COMFORTABLE. So if I fail and have to take it again, except next time it’s a 3-hour ordeal? I’m screwed.

Since I don’t know yet if I failed, though, I stopped on my way home and bought two pints of Baskin Robbins ice cream. Peanut Butter Chocolate and Pralines & Cream. (If you’ve never tried their Pralines & Cream, shut up right now and go get some. It’s my serious jam.) I will be eating the shit out of that ice cream until I’m told I have to give it up. God, I hope that doesn’t happen. Between the P&C and the  two  one and a half boxes of Thin Mints currently in my possession, I will seriously cry.

Jennifer Lawrence may go down in history as one of my favorite people ever. And I know it sounds like I’m jumping on the JLaw bandwagon, as she’s the new Hollywood It Girl, but no. I’ve loved that girl since her days of Winter’s Bone. (Another thing to shut up and go out to get if you haven’t seen it.)

We painted our nursery! (And, by we, I mean Nelsonic. I would have helped, but  I didn’t want to   I hate painting and N is so much better at it — he even freaking enjoys it once he gets into the rhythm   I’m pregnant and the fumes are no bueno in my condition.) And then? Our crib came! These two things suddenly made everything so much more real. Even without the bedding, which should arrive soon, I can’t stop staring. Like, it’s real now. Real real. (Okay, and granted, probably every little thing between now and when I’m pushing this little girl out of my body will suddenly make it real real, but still. Bear with me. I’m new to this shizz.)

Ugh. Update: I failed the stupid glucose test. Not by very much, but still. I have to go back for the three hour one. AND I have low iron, so I have to take supplements of that now, too. Which is no big. But the 3 hour glucose test is gonna suuuuuuuuck. FML. 

So What Wednesday is a blog meme started by Life After I “Dew.” (Click the link to see what other people are saying “so what??” to today.)

WHAT. THE. WHAT?

100 days.

100 MOTHER EFFING days.

100 days until I meet this little baby girl. The one whose kicks are getting strong enough to make my belly pop out in the spots where she karate chops. The one who I know without a doubt will rock my world in the best of ways.

100 days to get the nursery ready. Painted. Furniture delivered and set up. Closet doors redone and shelves revamped.

100 days to get my house organized. With a spot for everything. To make it easier to keep clean(ish, let’s be real) for those first few months years in which I won’t want to take the time to do extra cleaning when I could be playing with my little girl.

100 days to watch movies and explore and have dates with Nelsonic. 100 days to enjoy our last moments together as just us.

100 days to get as much TV and as many movies out of my system that I can.

100 days to actually sleep through the night. (Well, other than peeing every hour on the hour all night.)

100 days until I get to see that sweet face. To feel that soft skin against mine. To hear those first cries. To have my own finger held in her teeny tiny ones.  (How am I not sobbing while I type this? I am on the inside, that’s for sure.)

(Honestly? While typing that last 100 days mark–and rereading it–I suddenly feel the first inklings of that LOVE that I keep hearing about. That unconditional, holy-shit-I’ve-never-felt-anything-like-this LOVE for my little girl. I can’t even begin to imagine how strong it will be by first time I hold her.)

100 days.

100 days.


100 days.

100 days.

100 days.
Or, if I’m really honest with myself, LESS than 100 days. Because at my gender reveal sonogram, when I supposedly was 18 weeks and 6 days, she actually measured at 19 weeks 5 days. Which, according to the paperwork, means my due date may be closer to May 13 than May 19. 
Yeah. 
So basically, what I’m feeling is this: 
ojalkflakx;lj;coaelrjald;;ciuoeijrlmowiejralkosida;lkdlmla;dfoaowieukdn9283749kda;ljd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Or 13th. Or WHENEVER. I just can’t wait. And with 100 days or less left to go? THIS IS GETTING REAL.

Internet research vs. doctor advice…

Barefoot and pregnant. Just like every woman should be!
Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust kidding.
Also: Clearly, those are wish fulfillment skinny legs…

Yeah, so. I learned the hard way about internet research during pregnancy about pregnancy.

NOT the best idea. 
Unless you enjoy being completely freaked out of your mind. Because, yanno, maybe you do.

But me? At first? Man, I was looking up what my HCG levels meant. What the ridiculously much-higher-than-expected jump in count after three days meant. I was looking up what every ache and pain could possibly be. I was looking up every single ingredient in the vitamins I was taking to see what they each did–and to see if I was missing anything. I was PANICKED because I had a severe upper respiratory infection, posted about it on a message board, and heard back that it can lead to autism and learning disabilities. Or something like that.

Meanwhile? Every time I called my doctor? (Yes, every time. As in multiple times.) I heard, don’t worry. You’re fine. You have everything you need in your one prescription prenatal vitamin. Your cold will not cause your fetus to sprout a second head and possible third arm. Nope. Not even a third nostril. You’re safe. Really, you can stop worrying. And, for the sake of your sanity, stop looking things up on the internet.

Did I let those reassurances reassure me? Yeah, no. I stayed on the message boards, having every single answer analyzed by complete strangers who seemed like they knew what they were talking about.

But… that’s the thing about people on message boards, though. Sometimes they seem sooooooooo knowledgeable–when they’re secretly whack-jobs who have NO idea what they’re speaking about. And that’s the thing about medical websites that SEEM completely legit. Looks and language can be deceiving. In the other part of my life, in the writing world, I’ve met tons of people online first and then in real life at conferences and retreats and stuff. Most of them? Perfectly sane and nice. But a few? NUTJOBS. And I’d neverrrrrr have known, had I only maintained contact with them online.

(And don’t get me wrong. I’ve met some lovely mothers-to-be on message boards! It’s great to connect with other people who are going through–or striving to go through–the same things you are. Message boards and forums and online sources are great things for many reasons.)

AndButSo. Back to the pregnancy side of my life. After many sleepless, worry-filled nights, which I KNEW were bad for both me and that precious little bean growing in my belly, and the realization that people have been listening to the advice of doctors for a long time and having perfectly happy, normal, and healthy babies–I decided to let it all go. To trust my competent, have-been-doing-this-for-years-and-years-and-years team of OB doctors.

It’s been great. When I have questions, I take them to the doctor, not the internet. I can sleep. I’m not reading six million different opinions each day. Which allows me to get other things done. Like laundry. And dishes. And planning meals instead of ordering out every night.

But… Now? Because I have a prescription that I’m taking for a bacterial infection? I’m having trouble staying on that care-free wagon. Of course when the doctor prescribed it, I asked if it was safe for the baby (as if she’d prescribe something that wasn’t???). She assured me it was–but also mentioned that if I looked on the internet I’d find people saying scary things about taking any sort of prescription drugs while pregnant. I laughed and told her I stayed clear of those crazies these days, so I’d take her word for it.

Except.

A few years ago, I asked my regular doctor if staying on my anti-depressant would be safe if I got pregnant. (Back during a time when I thought I was ready, but N wasn’t quite there.) And she told me it was on a safe list and I’d be fine. Fast forward to today? Yeah. That medication is on a list of NOT safe medications. Like, it has been shown to cause severe birth defects.

WHAT IF THAT HAPPENS WITH THE PRESCRIPTION I’M TAKING NOW?

Okay, so. A few deep breaths later…

I still will not look this up on the internet. I won’t.

Really.

And, anyway, if I DON’T take this medicine? And the infection DOESN’T go away? I could go into preterm labor.

Soooooo, yeah. That makes the decision pretty easy.

There’s no way to predict the future. Maybe someday the medication will be deemed unsafe. But for now, it’s safe and it’s necessary and I cannot stress like this over every little thing. My goal is to stay zen with the pregnancy–and it’s been going just that way for quite some time now.

I will keep it that way.

I will, I will, I will.